Persona verse truth and what God says about it all.

What is your Persona? By definition Persona is the aspect of someone's character that is presented to or perceived by others. When I think about persona, I tend to include peoples lives. For a hypothetical example, Julie posts about how great her life is all the time, post pictures of the wonderful things, people, and places she experiences. This is her persona. Meanwhile, Julie is struggling to pay her rent, maintain a job, and is questioning her faith in God. She feels depressed and alone, yet the only thing others see is what she puts on social media sites, the adjusted to be socially acceptable portion of the truth. So what am I getting at with this whole persona thing? I hate it. I know for a fact there are people on my face book that are struggling with things in their lives that are out of their control.

Now before I continue I need to make some things perfectly clear, I do not like negativity. I am a firm believer of positive thinking and speaking because in the bible is says;

Death and life are in the power of the tongue - Proverbs 18:21

Bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ- 2 Corinthians 10:5

  I also understand the issue of not wanting to "air your dirty laundry" on social medial sites, however when I look at my friends list, I see my family, my co-workers, and my friends. There are many many people that love me and care about me on there and vise versa. So why is it that it is socially unacceptable and seen as needing attention when someone tells about the hidden darkness in their lives? Whether it is to just get it off their shoulders or to ask for help or prayers, It shouldn't matter.  If you are living a life that isn't selfish and you truly know God then it wouldn't be seen as anything negative but as an opportunity to display God's love.

 

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8

 With that being said, I have struggled with some things in my life and the only person that knows about it, is God. Why is that? I am constantly surrounded by people who love me, who care about me, and yet not one person knows. Is that my fault? Because I haven't said anything? Is it their fault because no one has noticed or cared to ask? No. Neither party is at fault. Society is at fault. We have created a dual life society where you have the truth and then you have the persona. We have also created a selfish society, where no one wants to know about your drama and problems because they have enough of their own. This is wrong. In the bible it says;

"If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together." - 1 Corinthians 12:26

Read that verse again. What does this mean? If one member suffers, all suffer together? Do you share the burdens of others? Do you help when you can, even if it is just keeping someone in your prayers? Do you ask for help when you need it? Do you set down your pride and turn to the body of Christ for help?

And now the other half of the verse,  If one member is honored, all rejoice together. When John gets a job promotion, are you rejoicing with him or are you jealous? 

When I read this verse it hit home to me. There is a large group of people who would suffer along side me, rejoice along side me and I would do the same with them BUT there is a major problem here, Speaking up. I know of a few people in my life that are struggling with some things and the only reason I know about it is because they had the courage to share their life with me. This is not always an easy thing to do, I know from experience. What I can say is when someone shares their struggles with you, you are able to be more sensitive to their needs and help them when things get rough, Whether it is keeping them lifted up in prayer, listening when they need to vent, or encouraging them on the hard days.This is not always an easy task but God calls us into every situation and uses us in ways we can not imagine. 

  

So why haven't you shared your struggles?  Are you prideful? I keep asking myself the same thing. Why? I check all the areas that I think would hold me back. Pride? No. Judgment? Maybe. Fear? Maybe. I think I am just not ready to share it. I don't know for sure but what I do know is that I am here for all of you, for anything, judgment free because that is what God calls me to do and I will do it with a joyful heart because I love and care for you all.

 

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

 

A night of pain, understanding, and a reminder of my faith

This last month has been hard. My family had to watch my great-grandfather go in and out of the hospital.  He would get better then the next day he wasn't so good. A couple of weeks ago I received a phone call from my Dad saying I should probably get to Pocatello to see my grandfather and say our goodbyes. When I got there I was amazed how great he looked, when I left the hospital I had it in my mind that he was going to be okay and that he would be with us a few more years.

 This Saturday I went out to dinner with my husband, his parents, and his brother & wife. We had just gotten to dinner when my mom texted me and said "Grandpa is dying". I quickly excused myself from the table and called my mom. She was crying and I knew it wasn't good. She told me that I would have to leave now if I were to make it to see him. I guess I didn't realize it was so close to him passing. I instantly felt the need to be there.

 I had teared up a bit so I went into the bathroom to clean up my now smeared makeup. My mother in law Tracey followed me into the bathroom to check on me. I told her he wasn't doing well so we prayed for him. We prayed for painless and quick passage for him, We prayed that he would go to be with The Lord. Just as we finished our prayer and I wiped my eyes and nose, my mother text me. Her text read " He died." As much as I know about the Lord and about the peace he brings us, it didn't stop the pain from hitting my heart. I cried my eyes out in the arms of my mother in law while in the bathroom of a fancy restaurant. 

When I finally gathered my composure and cleaned up my now extremely smeared makeup, I walked back to the dinner table. I do not like to cry in front of anyone, including my husband. As I sat down at the table all my family looked at me and I just couldn't help but tear up. I wanted to leave so badly but they had already ordered and our food wasn't there yet. I felt numb and raw all at the same time. I knew if someone told me they were sorry or if anyone even acknowledged what was going on I would have a break down and cry in front of everyone. My throat ached from the knot that refused to go away. 

 I ordered a bottle of wine and drank the whole thing down. It took the edge off the sadness and made me feel like I could make it through dinner without becoming a hysterical mess. I couldn't even look at my husband, if I did I would start crying.  Once dinner was over, I was relieved to get into the car and rest my head on my husbands shoulder. I was holding myself together quite well, despite the pain in my heart. 

After a few minutes of riding in silence my father in law turned on the radio. Music filled the car.  The song that was playing was "Need you now" by Plumb . I had listened to this song so many times before and it had helped me to get through some very large personal struggles.  I couldn't help it, my heart broke into a million pieces. I cried into my husbands chest and I held onto him as tightly as I could. 

I knew God put that song on just for me. I know without a shadow of doubt that God knew I needed a reminder of my faith in him. I came home and looked up a couple of scriptures that have given me a peace that can only come from The Lord,

 "Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you. " John 16:22  

  " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:1. 

 I know that my grandpa is with The Lord and they are dancing and singing with joy. He is with his mother and father, his brothers and sisters. I know he is at peace now. I am comforted by my faith in Christ. I know someday I will be dancing and singing with my grandpa and the Lord. Until then, I love you Grandpa, may you watch over us always.

My Great Grand Father- Paul Harris <3

Update from the Jay home.

Where did the past couple of months go? I swear it was just Austin first birthday and now it is almost Christmas! I have to say I have always had a love/hate relationship with Christmas. I love the true meaning, the family get togethers, the food, the joy in peoples hearts and so much more... BUT I really hate the pressure it puts on me and my family, especially this year. I just makes me sad and stressed out. Oh well I guess everyone probably feels that way around Christmas time.

A couple of months ago my friends got together and decided we should do craft night once a month. We have done it twice so far and I'm finding that I really enjoy it! It is so nice to get out and do something fun plus get some adult time! The first craft night we made book covers and coasters. They turned out super cute and they were easy! This month we did wreaths for Christmas/Winter. They were a little more challenging but turned out cute! I look forward to out next one!

Unfortunately the last few days Jordon has been feeling like he could be getting sick, then Austin started acting weird, crying, feverish, and was super clingy, and now I am starting to feel a little pain in my throat. I'm so not happy about it. Jordon has been taking ALJ, airborne, Zicam, Emergen-C,   and essential oils to help his body fight it off.. I'm starting to think I should have been doing that for myself and Austin. I guess we will start out regime tomorrow.

I felt so sorry for my little Austin today. He just wanted to be held by his daddy but we were both at work so he had to be in his play pen. Man oh man he was NOT happy! I worked as fast as I could and got out of their in a couple of hours. When I got home he was about the same. I held him all night and put him down around 7:15. I decided to make him some of that homemade apple sauce for tomorrow. Hopefully it will make him feel better and he will actually eat. Well that is my update for now! I am off to bed.. Yes it is early but I think my body needs the rest! Love to you all!

Halloween is almost here!

I can't believe how quickly time is going by! Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner! I have had so much fun with pumpkins this last month. I think I ended up with 13 pumpkins this year.. Most of which are just for decorating our front porch! I even put stocks of corn up! Those I stopped at some random ladies home and asked if I could take her left overs from her garden. She probably thinks I'm a weirdo! Oh well they were like $4 for 3 stocks at walmart! I think I like free better!

 Anyways, the last few days I have been sick so I have been dragging myself from my bed to the couch and back. I woke up this morning feeling a bit better so I decided to be adventurous and do some baking. Last Saturday I pureed a pie pumpkin and had it in my fridge to make a pie with.. I however am kinda sick of pie since I have already made some this year. I decided to try something new with my extra delicious pumpkin pie recipe! I made pumpkin muffins! and I still have enough pie filling for a pie! Kinda neat! I also begged Jordon to go get me some apples last night and like the amazing husband that he is, he went to the grocery store just for my apples :) I'm so blessed to have such a great hubby! Back to the apples-- I made homemade applesauce! It is to die for! 

Austin and I- Baking cookies! ( LOVE my new apron! & not sure why austin has fingernail clippers ha)

Tonight we are taking little Austin to Boo at the Zoo and then we are going to carve our pumpkins :) It should be fun! Pictures to follow! Hope everyone is having a great Tuesday!

Happy Birthday to my sweet boy!

Happy first birthday Austin! We love you so much!

BIG update!

It has been so long since I have been on my blog! What can I say.. Life got hectic and busy! Things are finally getting into a steady routine! I never thought I would say this but I LOVE routine! I guess I'll do a little update. Since I was on here last we had A LOT happen! 

Austin Dean Jay

Austin Dean Jay blessed us with his presence on October 24th 2011 at 3:47 PM. He was immediately rushed to the NICU where he stayed for 7 days. Talk about heart break!! I'm so glad we made it through! 

Our first time seeing the house!

Just as we were starting to get use to our new life with a baby we had another whirl wind come at us! Jordon decided to quit his job at the elk ranch which meant we would have to find a new place to live. We had been looking for a house since I found out I was pregnant. Let me tell you there was NOTHING out there! Well nothing up to our standards and in our price range. Jordon was planning to quit at the beginning of February and we still hadn't found what we wanted! It was stressful. So one day I was scrolling through a price range WAY above ours I found a beautiful home in Rigby. I saw the pictures and thought to myself  "Awhhh why not take a look!", So I scheduled a meeting with out realtor.  When we went in the house we immediately saw that the people were hoarders. It was weird. I couldn't even see the carpet since there was so much stuff everywhere! We used that to our advantage and offered the bank $80,000 under their asking price, they responded with $30,000 under asking price! We did this a few times back and forth and ended up getting the house for $45,000 under asking price! We were shocked to say the least! We quickly cleaned the house, painted, bought all new appliances, and moved in!
 

Our family August 2012

Such a big boy. 10 months old. Aug 2012

Jordon then quit his job and started our new "adventure" at  the family company Jay Transport. Meanwhile our little Austin has grown into a little boy! It seems as if it happened over night! It makes me sad but also very happy to have a healthy active little boy! We also had our 2nd anniversary this year. Crazy how time flies!

Beauty

 

A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn. One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes, and slept in the most perfect darkness. One for every time you had the hiccups. One for every dream you dreamed within me. It isn't very pretty anymore. Some may even think it's ugly. That's OK. It was your home. It held you until my arms could, and for that, I will always find something beautiful in it. ~ Cassie Fox

I saw this somewhere on the internet and it just spoke to me :]

Belly cast!

35 weeks and 6 days!! (Oct.15th 2011)

 Today I got sooo much done! I am really proud of myself! I went to the grocery store, put away all my groceries, picked up the kitchen, visited Jordon at work, visited the In-laws, and last... me and Jordon did a cast of my belly!  We weren't going to do the cast at first but then we were just sitting here watching TV so I told him we had to get it done. I mean how hard could it be right? Well just so everyone knows casting is extremely messy, time consuming, and I was just about ready to pass out by the time I got it off of me. haha! It is really neat to look at though. The reason we wanted to do a cast is so we can show Austin how big my belly was when he was inside it. I would like to do this for everyone of our children. It is just so neat!!

Update on my life and an easy dinner that is delicious.

Jordon and I. (35 weeks and 4 days)

Okay so I have been put on bed rest from the doctor and so far everything has been going good with the baby. Although I have been unusually tired and have very little energy/drive to do anything. But then yesterday Jordon had the day off so we went to Pocatello and visited my family. It was really nice to get out of the house! Unfortunately while we were out and about I must have picked up some sort of cold. I woke up this morning with horrible ear aches, a cough, and a sore throat. Needless to say I am bummed out.  I haven't made dinner in a week and my cupboards are in serious need of a trip to the grocery store.

  I've decided that this weekend I am going to make a dinner that is really easy and delicious. The first time I tried this was at my aunt's house. It was so yummy and I begged for her to give me the recipe so now I'm going to share it with you!

Mango Peach Salsa Pork Roast!

You can buy this salsa at winco. I use the small one seen in the picture.

What You will need:

1 Pork roast (thawed)

1 thing of Mango Peach Salsa

and Your crock pot!

Place the thawed Pork Roast in the center of your crock pot then pour the entire thing of Mango Peach Salsa on top of the roast and around it. (focus more on the top). Do not add any water, the roast will make enough broth by the end. Put the crock pot on low and leave to cook for 5 hours. I typically put the roast in at 1 and then it is ready by 6 when my hubby gets home. When the roast is done, Cut it into 1/2 inch slices and top with the salsa.  (I make Rice a roni to go with this dinner and usually some sort of veggie) This dinner is super easy! I hope you enjoy it as much as we do.

Pumpkin Pie with fresh pumpkin and a homemade crust!!

• 1 cup sugar
• 1.5 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ginger
• one half teaspoon ground ginger
• one half teaspoon salt (optional, I don't use any)
• 4 large eggs
• 3 cups cooked pumpkin (the stuff we made earlier)
• 1.5 cans (12oz each) of evaporated milk

Mix well using a hand blender or mixer.

Notes: The vast majority of people tell me this is the best pumpkin pie they've ever had. It's light and fluffy - however... if you want a heavy, more dense pie, use 3 eggs instead of 4 and 1 can of evaporated milk instead of 1.5)

Step 11 - Pour into the pie crust

I like a deep, full pie, so I fill it right up to about one quarter to one half inch from the very top.Don't be surprised if the mixture is very runny!  It may start as a soupy liquid, but it will firm up nicely in the oven! * I place my pie pan on a cookie sheet before pouring mixture into crust so it is easier to move from the counter top to the oven.

 

 

Step 12 - Bake the pie

Bake at 425 F (210 C ) for the first 15 minutes, then turn the temperature down to 350 F  ( 175 C ) and bake another 45 to 60 minutes, until a clean knife inserted into the center comes out clean.

Here is the finished pie, right out of the oven.

I use a blunt table knife to test the pie. It should come out pretty clean when the pie is done.

Step 13 - Cool the pie

And enjoy! Warm or chilled, with whipped cream , ice cream or nothing at all - it's great!

Flaky Homemade Pie Crust!

What You'll need:

makes 1 deep dish 10" pie shell

• 1.5 cups flour (about 6 ounces by weight) - plain flour, not self-rising.
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt (optional)
• 1/6 cup COLD vegetable shortening -  Here's a useful conversion: 1/6 cup = 2 tablespoons + 2 teaspoons
• 1/3 cup COLD butter
• 1/4 cup cold water

Step 1 - Mix the ingredients

Mix the flour, sugar and shortening first. About 15 seconds in a food processor is by far the best way, since it is fast and the ingredients don't warm up much.  Don't make it too smooth or uniform.  Little pea sized granules makes a flaky crust.

Note: Alton Brown on the Food Network suggests using 1/6 cup vegetable shortening and 1/3 cup butter (for a total 1/2 cup of both together); because they will melt at different temperatures.  It makes a a lighter, flakier crust.  Another key is to keep all the ingredients, especially the butter, shortening and water are very cold.

 

Step 2 - Mix and add water as needed

Then sprinkle in the water, just enough water to make it hold together; a good dough consistency. A pastry blender (see photo) works very well to mix, but some people prefer a few seconds in a food processor instead. Just mix it enough to make it into pieces that hold together about the size of a pea.  We don't want to overmix it!

Chill?

If you have time, put the dough (wrapped in plastic wrap or a ziploc bag) into the fridge to rest and chill for a half hour or more. If you don't have time, don't worry, just move on to step 3. 

Step 3 - Roll out the dough

I use a pie crust bag (a circular plastic bag that zips up around the edge, but two pieces of waxed paper will work). A couple of tablespoons of flour shaken in the bag will help to keep the dough from sticking to the bag.

Roll it out to an even thickness, and just an inch or two wider than your pie pan.  My crusts are about 1/8 inch thick.

Step 4 - Put in the pie pan and shape!

Place the dough into the pie pan.  Don't worry if it breaks.You can easily fix it.

 

Press the dough into the pan, seal any broken areas, and shape the top edge in any pattern you like; just for appearance's sake.

It's now ready for you to add the pie ingredients! It is also time to start preheating the oven.  Turn it on and set it to 425 F.

Next I'll post the recipe for the actual pie! Soooo Delicious! 

Jack-O-Lantern Pumpkins for Delicious Pies!

Jack-O-Lantern Pumpkin

 Have you ever bought a Jack-o-lantern pumpkin and intended to carve it but just never got around to it? Well here is a little tip! You can use that pumpkin to make pies! Normally you would use what is called a Pie pumpkin, which is smaller and sweeter but I'm going to show you how you can use a regular Jack-o-lantern pumpkin! (Never "recycle" a pumpkin that has been carved or has been gutted and sitting at room temperature for more than a few hours. Mold and other bacteria will have started to grow!!!)

1. Wash the exterior of your pumpkin (just water no soap) then cut the top off and gut the inside. You can keep the seeds if you plan on roasting them.

2. After the pumpkin is clean (inside and out) cut into small manageable sections that will fit into your cooking pot.

3. Cook your pumpkin. There are many methods to doing this but here are the two I use;

 Method 1: Microwave! Place pieces of pumpkin in a microwave safe bowl with 1 to 2 inches of water in the bottom, cover it, and put in microwave. (20-30 mins)

Method 2: Stove top! Place pieces of pumpkin in a double pot steamer for 20 to 30 mins.

 Either way you choose continue to cook pumpkin until it is soft enough to scoop the innards away from the skin.

4. Let cool then begin to scoop out the pumpkin. Once the pumpkin is cooked it will be easy to scoop away the innards from the skin.  Place the pumpkin in a bowl. 

(Pumpkin too watery??  let stand for 30 minutes then pour off any free water)

5.Puree the pumpkin to a nice smooth consistency. By blending it you will give the pie a smooth, satiny texture.

You are now done with the pumpkin! You can place the fresh puree in baggies and freeze it. You however cannot "can" pumpkin for health reasons!

Next I will show you how to use this pumpkin puree for homemade pumpkin pie! and I will post my favorite recipes that call for pumpkin!

4D ultrasound & a trip to labor and delivery!

Austin Dean Jay!

This last month we had a 4D ultrasound done and here is some of the pictures of our little man! 

Saturday I had been having cramps all day and that night around midnight I noticed that I was having contractions every 1-3 minutes so we decided it was time to go to the hospital. We were so unsure of everything that we forgot to grab my hospital bag! Jordon did grab the baby's car seat and his bag so we were partially ready to go. When we arrived at the hospital they put us into a labor room and hooked me up to all the monitors. After about 30 minutes of monitoring my contractions and the baby's heart rate  they nurse decided to check me. I was dilated to a 1 and 80% effaced! I was super shocked and very glad we decided to go in. I was then given a series of three shots to stop my labor.

 

After three hours of waiting to see if they worked, they checked me again and I was a loose 2 and still 80%. My doctor then admitted me and treated me for pre term labor. Needless to say we were starting to get nervous!! They put in an IV of fluids and penicillin. After about 4 hours of waiting they checked me again. I was still at a 2 and 80 %. They followed my contractions and seen that they were beginning to slow. They then released us to go home! What an adventure!!!